Friday, September 25, 2009

Welcome to the next 9 months. No, not pregnancy.

I just finished my first week of school, into my third year at Portland Community College. I made sure that this would be an easy transition term so as to better acclimate to the busy times that is college life. So, I have a couple of English courses, and a History course; approximately one class per day. So far, it is a well-timed week.

As for the classes, two of them are exactly what I wanted, and for the most part they are not letdowns. My History teacher does say "Uhhh...." and "Ummmm..." a lot, and seems to lose her train of thought, but at the very least she seems to know her shit. She has mad qualifications out-the-ass like a P.H.D. in Political Science, an M.A. in Russian History, etc... On our Syllabus', she listed her schooling and achievements, and the part that made me laugh was the title of her dissertation: " The Role of the Catholic Church in Elaborating a Counter Hegemony in Opposition to the Dominant Groups in Brazil and Poland." I guess the thing that makes me laugh is the length and precision of it, not the content. However, I'm sure that all dissertations have titles like this, and my laughter is out of ignorance. Makes me want to come up with dissertation titles for fun. "Mascots of flavor: a comparative behavioral study between the suave, sophisticated, and effete Cheetah of Cheetos (tm) brand cheese sticks, and the bold, masculine, patriotic and heroic nature of Tony the Tiger of Frosted Flakes (tm)." The paper would be a breakdown of how these mascots are really metaphors for certain society's values; the Cheetah is France (obviously!) and the Tiger is America (obviously!!!). Putting anything in dissertation speak makes it sound official and professional. Yup, just pulling things out of my ass on this one. That's the second usage of that idiom, I've noticed. Things are coming out of asses in this paragraph.

The other class that I am enjoying is my Film Studies class. It is categorized under English, and it's my second time taking a Film Studies class. You see, I needed to have 16 credits worth of English, and I suspected that a Film class would be less obnoxious than a Poetry or Drama class. It actually is, but that's mostly because of the teacher. In someone else's hands, it could be extremely pretentious and over-the-top, but it works with this one particular teacher. This particular class is called "Film as Art," and we started out with "Casablanca." The list includes other classics like: "Citizen Kane," "Apocalypse Now," "Psycho," and "The Battle of Algiers." Like I said, it is the teacher, he addresses people as if they were adults rather than children -- even the ones who are fucking children.

And that leads me to my other English class, which is a Drama as Lit class. Much like my previous Fiction Lit class, it feels like someone somewhere is playing a joke on you. It's just a bit too whimsical and silly for my taste (a trait which seems to be a pre-requisite for English teachers), and the curriculum is set up to allow tweenage blowhards have the floor for way too long. The few bright bulbs who are assured their voices are gold just let the bullshit flow, just to have it stink and linger. It's that painful, trust me. More on this as it develops.

Gotta keep it short. This is probably how it's gonna be for the remainder of school, with time restrictions and all. Until the next annoyance...


  1. Oh man, I love me some academic speak. "The Role of the Catholic Church in Elaborating a Counter Hegemony in Opposition to the Dominant Groups in Brazil and Poland, with respect In Particular to a Specific and Obscure aspect of Doctrinal Dispute that has Often harried and Vexed the various Councils and Synods here on God's Earth (tm)."

    And, "Film As Art", as opposed to "Film As Dude", or "Film As Homework", or "Film As Celluloid".

  2. And what of "Film As Opportunity To Nap"? Or "Film and a Coffee As Date With Handsome Older European Gentleman"?

    Note: Must start own community college.